Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Back on the Train

I know I've been "too busy" to date.  I've also been too disinterested and that doesn't pair well with busy.  However, I have decided to rip this band-aid off quickly, and rip it I have.

Just to give you some backstory, we are in the midst of a Mercury Retrograde.  I know.  It's a bit much, but one should never start something during a Mercury Retrograde as it's doomed to fail.  If you ask me, this is a perfect time to date men that I'm not all that interested in in the first place.  So, here we go.

1)  Tonight I have a coffee date with Ernest.  Do you remember him?  He was the first man from pof.com that could form a complete sentence?  It doesn't really matter, the bottom line is I'll hit 20 tonight because we all know what a coffee date during a retrograde produces.  Bupkis.

2)  Introducing Frenchie.  Yes, another Frenchman.  I can't help myself.  I gave him my phone number because I'm deleting my pof.com profile (it really is too much), and he left a message last night.  Y'all.  The accent is INSANE.  Like plug your free ear while clutching the telephone to the other and making a funny face insane.  All I'm saying is that I think I've found a free French tutor.

3)  And then there's teacher.  Dreamy teacher.  He finally messaged me back after a bit of a hiatus.  He blamed it on a 4 day food poisoning incident.  I find this to be a bit suspicious.  Four days down due to spoiled food?  What did he eat?  Fecal matter?  Whatever.  He called too, and it went to voicemail.  His voice doesn't match his look, but one shouldn't ask for too much during a retrograde.

Regulars, do you know what's happening here?  I'm hoping to hit 22 dates before Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanza).  It also means there's only another 7 more months of this blog.  Get it while you can.

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