Friday, October 7, 2011

The Bright Side

Things are starting to get better.  I got to hang out with some great people last night, I took a mental health day today, and I look tan for some reason.  I hope I don't have carotenosis.

Things are also picking up on the ole dating website.  Let's do a breakdown.

Open Marriage and I are communicating, and I must say, he is quite verbose.  His emails are lengthy, and I just don't have it in me to reciprocate in the same manner.  He doesn't talk about his wife, and I suppose it's for the best, but I want the nitty-gritty on this open marriage thing.  Don't you?  I'll see what I can get out of him.

Introducing Baby.  Baby is 19 and lives in New York, so I'm pretty sure I found my guy.  Why does he have to live in New York?  Cruel world.  This was our exchange.

Baby: youre sexy
Me: You're 19 and in ny.
Baby: We can make this work
Me: How and why are you up? (It was 1 am)
Baby: How? You travel here and I become your young sexual slave.  I can't sleep because I've found your profile.
Me: Flattering. You have it down.
Baby: I'm partially serious. If you were to call me I'd forever keep you in my imagination. 347-555-5555
Me: So cute. I took a xanex so probably not tonight.
Baby: Then text me at least, you sexy beast. 

And then the Xanex took effect.

Introducing Philly.  He has a hairy chest.  Regulars know that I am a fan of this, but Philly is different.  His chest hair is straight.  Long and straight.  So odd.  I've never seen such a thing.  I told him I liked it nonetheless.

I am currently IMing with another new suitor.  We will call him The Gent.  He loves to use lol and ends a third of his sentences with prepositions.  My eyes are bleeding.

All of my more tradition suitors have left me, without a care.  I really thought Sober Guy and I had something going.  And French Victor?  Pourquoi?

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