Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Disappointing Myself and Others

Something happened this weekend that I have not written about.  In the grand scheme of things, it's really not that big of a deal, but I sweated over it a bit.  I put up a tough front here on 30dates, but the truth is, I'm pretty sensitive.  If you know me at all, you know that I don't like hurting people's feelings.

Open Marriage and I got into an interesting back-and-forth via the dating site's messaging system.  His situation fascinates me because, as a woman who can't find a man I'd even want to have coffee with, never mind marrying, alternative lifestyles pique my interest.

I asked Open Marriage what the rules were with his wife.  He corrected me by calling them guidelines, and listed a few.

1)  Be nice and respectful to everyone involved.  (This received a collective eye-roll from my girlfriends.)
2)  Sleep at home.

I think that's it.

Open Marriage and his wife had a monogamous relationship at first, but then they wanted to seek others as time went by.  At first, it was a feeding frenzy for the both of them, but then things cooled down a bit.  They recently moved to LA, and his wife acquired a boyfriend that she sees about once a week.  My guess is, Open Marriage wants to get in on the action since she is, and is starting the "dating" process for himself.

I thought, "What the hey?"  Why not go out with this dude, purely for research?  I wasn't attracted to him (Nothing against Michael Chiklis), so getting my heart broken was never a factor.  And Regulars, I know I said I wouldn't date a married man, but this was different.   I mean, the lady is on the game.  And winning, at this point.

We exchanged phone numbers, texted a bit, and decided to meet Sunday night.

Cut to Sunday lunch with the girls.  I tell them the above story.  I then confess that I really don't want to go on the date.  Clearly this man is looking for some physical action, and that's just not going to happen with me.  I just want to pick his brain.  My girlfriends then remind me that I've already done the research and that I should cancel and hang out with them for the remainder of the day.

Cancelling a date with a nice guy via text is not as glamourous as Hollywood would make you believe. I considered going on a mercy date, but then decided that that would not benefit either one of us.  I texted Open Marriage and told him I had second thoughts and that this situation was not for me.  He was disappointed, but cool as hell about it.  Dammit!  Why did he have to look like Michael Chiklis?  This could have been a way juicier entry.

In other news, I'm excited to see Texas Ex in a couple of weeks.  I'm friendly with most of my exes, but he and I are actually friends.  Plus, we're doing a "couples costume" for Halloween and I NEVER get to do that.

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