Friday, October 21, 2011

Remember Me?

First, I'd like to apologize for my absence, but I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest, and that's not an exaggeration.  Things are CAH-RAY-RAY at work and my after school "hobby" (what my Israeli friend likes to call my comedy career) has required more of my time.  That coupled with the fact that after the whole Open Marriage mishap, I just felt dirty.  I needed a break.

During that time, I ran into a couple of new suitors.  Meet NG.  Boring.  Excruciatingly boring.  Thus far at least.  Here's a snippet from his About Me:

I am pursuing a film career, so to be honest, I barely have time to pursue a relationship, and certainly no tolerance for drama or jealousy.

So it's pretty amazing that he's on a dating site.  I agreed to go out with him just to get to date16.  Then the back and forth about times.  He can only meet after 10 pm.  I'm not doing that for someone that I consider to be just a number.

And we've come to that.  Look at me.  I'm cynical.  Not that it's all that different than my normal self, but I feel so under the microscope with this blog.  I'll get over it.

I really want to introduce you to ARP.  ARP is 60 and finds me "to be wonderful."  ARP has a good eye, but so do I, and I will not be flirting it up with ARP.  Oh I'm sorry,  I forgot to tell you that he's a magician and also consults for magician TV shows.  Cherry.  On.  Top.

Are you ready for the twist, Regulars?  Today I get a message from Open Marriage.  I was shocked to receive it, to be honest.  On-line dating is a fickle lifestyle, my friends.  People move on.  He said he enjoyed our correspondence, he didn't feel as if that was one-sided, blah, blah, blah, and then asked if I would be interested in hanging platonically.

The "likes to see the good in all" part of me thinks that's sweet and ballsy.  The realist part of me thinks he's trying to get in from another angle.  I said I can't snub a platonic friend request but I'm busy for a bit (the truth).  Radio silence.  I think I know which part of me was correct.

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