Date 6

Logger came to my show last night. He said I was funny. Since he stuck around afterward, I have no reason to doubt that statement. He met a few of my friends, and they thought he was charming and lovely. He works well in a comedy setting with many alpha, narcissistic personalities, and that helps if you're hanging with me.

Logger rocks. He really does. He's fun, smart, gentlemanly, and I have no idea what's going to happen with us. What I do know is that he's an awesome person to spend time with.

Life is weird, and one never knows, but there's a possibility that I will not be Mrs. Reluctant Dater-Logger. If we don't make it, I will sing his praises to any woman thinking of dating him. He is the bees knees.

IN OTHER NEWS: Tall and I are meeting for a drink on Sunday, but the concert is Wednesday. I fear Sunday may be miserable which will make Wednesday unbearable. Clearly, I'm an advocate of the power of positive thinking.

Paranoia Self Destroyer

I am on the cusp of being discovered by one of my beaus, I just know it. And the paranoia has set in, as absolutely everything has me scrambling around like Woody Allen in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. (This movie was underrated, in my humble opinion.)

Here's what happened yesterday:

As my regulars know, Logger said he'd be attending one of my shows this week. (He's coming tonight, FYI.) Tall and I were texting, and after I told him I was performing that evening:

Tall: Is Logger there? (But he said Logger's real name. I know what you're thinking. How would he know Logger's real name? I thought the same thing, but again, I'M PARANOID.)

Me: Logger who? (But I said Logger's real name.)

Tall: Logger Hasalastname (Kind of cute, no? But it sent me over the edge.)

Me: What are you talking about?

and then DEAD AIR for 2 hours.

Tall: Sorry, forgot what it was for a moment. Logger McNeil. (That's not MY Logger. Huge exhale.)

Fact: I'm OK with being discovered. It's inevitable. It's just that initial "You're busted" feeling that I'm not looking forward to. But what a blog entry it will be.

Minor Ramblings

It's a busy couple of days for Yours Truly. Besides my daytime schedule of purchasing things, I am performing stand-up tonight and tomorrow. Logger is coming to one of my shows, but get this... He's not telling me which show he will be attending. SURPRISE.

Tall and I have been text flirting (flexting?). He told me that he is excited to go out with me, which is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me, in this situation.

In completely random news, I went to Bikram yoga today, and I realized that I don't like guys who do Bikram yoga. And the prize for Biggest Double Standard in the World goes to...

URGENT

REAL DATE ALERT! REAL DATE ALERT! I'M GOING ON A REAL DATE AND THIS IS THE ALERT!

Tall asked me out (pretty sure he's reading the blog and going from there), and he's taking me to a concert at The Greek! I am a sucker for live music at an outdoor venue. (Dad, stop reading here.) This has just guaranteed Tall a ticket to second base.

My New Accessory

My friend, Michael, is my hero. This man is a wonder. I don't know if you recall, but back at the agent's party, he forced Tall to take my number. Tall never called, BUT he did figure out my last name to friend me on Facebook and tell me that he lost my number. Witty banter, witty banter, he still hasn't asked me out, but lots of witty banter.

I want to string a dainty gold necklace through Michael's ears and wear him around my neck. This man does not dilly dally, and he refuses to let others dilly dally as well. With him at my side, we'll get those 30 dates by... February, maybe?

It's Getting Complicated

My friend, Amy, and I were discussing how this blog is ruining my life at the exact same time that it's improving it. I would never open myself up to people like I am now without this God-forsaken blog, and that's great. Switchin' it up is good for the soul. BUT, I am now facing a completely different set of problems that I never even knew existed.

For example: Do you remember Tall? The actor? We exchanged numbers at my agent's party blah, blah, blah... (BTW, he never called, but that's neither here nor there.) He asked to be my Facebook friend, which is fine if he weren't in the damn blog! After I sat on it for 24 hours in a fetal ball, I figured out how to friend him whilst hiding my blog posts. But the bottom line is this: Eventually one of these dudes will find the blog and I'll have to figure out a way to continue to be honest on this thing, knowing men I've written about will read it. Oh Carrie Bradshaw, WHY?????

And for all of you Logger fans, HE'S BAAAACK. I was happy that he contacted me after his trip, because it was dead air while he was away. He's coming to one of my shows this week. If I bomb, he'll be easy to shake. If I rock, he's falling in love with me.

Oh Carrie Bradshaw, WHY????

NSFW

Oral Fixation is a piece of work. The conversation continued.

Him: Why dance when you can dip? Besides I'm too white and straight to dance.

Me: Well, I'm a dancer. I'm sure you can find dippers on this site. (Please excuse the euphemisms.)

Him: Yes i can. But I'm daring you to dip with me.. :)

Me: I don't think we're a match, but I'm flattered nonetheless.

Him: too bad. would have been fun for the both of us. I'll be here if you are tired of looking and feeling really frisky. Would love to see how many times I could get you off. (Seriously?)

Me: Jesus, you are forward as hell!

Him: and? Some gals appreciate an honest guy. Would you rather have that or someone who lies to get in your pants? Shaved unshaved or waxed?

What in the hell is happening????? He then started IM-ing me and it got so disgusting that it was comical. If you're in LA, come see a show as I'm sure to be talking about this one.