Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What I've Learned

Internet dating is like dating at the bottom of the deepest part of the sea. It's dark, cold, and there are a lot of things that you didn't know even existed. I have been bombarded with MANY older foreign men. To clarify, I don't mind a foreign man. My last 3 accidents were foreign. But I also remember a time when I was 15 years old. I worked at The Limited and an older Saudi Arabian man asked if I would be his 3rd wife. In retrospect, this is kind of impressive, but I was traumatized at the time. I picture all of these guys to be that man, so I just cannot bring myself to answer back.

I have also discovered that a fourth of the men over 50 look like Santa Claus. It seems to be a popular look. A third of that fourth is in construction. That whole third cannot link words together to express a complete thought.


  1. Oh Shelby, hang in there! Internet dating does suck, but please keep at it so that we might have some printed material of yours to keep us entertained! And hey, I met my husband (who is foreign...Swedish, go figure) on Match.com back in 2003. So I guess it can work. But oh I do remember those coffee dates, the creeps, collecting every last bit of info about someone I was about to meet and emailing it, along with location, date & time of said meeting, to several friends along with instructions to call me at a designated time to a)give me an out & b)make sure I answered to insure that I wasn't chopped up into small bits and distributed among multiple dumpsters.

  2. Yes, keeping all of these dates is very public places. Thanks for the support, sister of the diamond.

  3. I meant "in very public places." Doh.